Hi friends
Last post as this week's entrepreneur, I had a real pleasure with you guys. During this week I discovered that I really enjoy writing, it was a big surprise for me and I am very grateful to
Avi Ben Mordechai For contacting me and asking me to write here,
So it seems to me that I will write more ??
Family, career, balances and gratitude
The question that many of us have a hard time answering is how to combine career / entrepreneurship and relationships and family.
There is a tough loop here that sometimes forces us to choose between time with our loved ones and work time.
Today you already know a lot about me, so you know that all my adult life I worked full time.
A full-time job is a bit of an understatement since I worked a lot far beyond that. Work always came home with me and while taking care of my favorite twins and taking care of their physical, emotional needs and anything else that kids need I also answered phones, worked in front of the computer and more.
I never made a separation, even on family vacations, even at events everyone knew Natalie was always working.
My ex also worked until late, in short we were deep in the rat race.
In the meantime we divorced and then the responsibilities and difficulties were heavier. The children were with me most of the time and at the same time I progressed to more senior and aspiring managerial positions and so I continued for years in a constant jingle, non-stop and full of guilt. Not to mention time for myself. Sound familiar? Sure many of you feel like I'm writing about their lives right now, right?
When I started real estate in the United States, the children were already older, in their teens.
People close to me thought I was crazy. what? Do you have extra time? When in the world are you going to do it together with your work and the children. So yeah, those were crazy years,
Happily I was in high school so I felt less tired, less in need of sleep and went on to the jungle.
Luckily my amazing partner is there to support and help and refer me to work, otherwise it is not clear how I would have survived. We all know that working in the US real estate industry requires us to be at work in the afternoon, evening, night, which is exactly family time.
In the last year, along with the spiritual processes I am going through I am starting to understand and internalize things I did not understand before and trying a bit to make a change in my life also the corona has contributed quite a bit to this matter. The isolations together at home led me to the realization that I had never really been home and that I had a lot of fun at home, in fact I discovered that I had the most fun at home. During this time I made the decision to go on a long vacation from work and think about what I do next. These are my best days. I spend a lot of time with the kids and even though they are big they tell me mom what fun you have at home you may not go back to work…
What did I do after all these years that helped me maintain a great relationship with my boys and a close and deep relationship where they talk and share with me what they are going through and some tips on the matter.
1. At one point I stopped arguing / arguing / fighting with them. I am not ashamed to say that here too I was assisted by experts, because as I have already told you, I prefer to study in the short way and I have recruited experts to help me. I made a decision that a good relationship with the children and a good atmosphere at home are more important than any work / test / shower, etc.
So yes I just stopped arguing with them, I chose individual values about which there is no situation that I give up and these will be the only things that if I have no choice I will have to fight them. Surprisingly, I did not have to fight for them either, because when the atmosphere is good, no one wants to fight.
2. Sharing - I started sharing and telling everything I do, how I was at work, how I solved problems, how I made decisions, how I mediated between people, how I felt in all kinds of situations. I asked their advice in certain dilemmas, disagreements with the boss and more and more. Listen to our children what is smart, it turns out emotionally as well. I received not bad advice at all that some I also used. and…. They, too, began to share.
3. I realized that their screen time that so annoys us is not necessarily that bad. They just need guidance and will constantly dig into them in drips of what is good and what is bad, what is real and what is Pike.
It is very worthwhile to discuss with them and raise issues that arise in the news, moral issues, value dilemmas, hear their opinions and of course direct. Although the excavations provoke objections, I have found that if they are systematically dripping and as if by chance while talking about other and not so good topics now one must sit down for a serious conversation to explain to you, etc. It's awesome try it.
During their screen time they also acquire our skills we do not have and they will probably need them in their advanced life.
Has anyone tried to play Fortnite (I ask the adults more not the kids on the team)?
We do not have such skills, it is not possible, our brain does not work like this.
YouTube? Aside from the junk there is this is a wonderful platform, one of the geniuses, the best school in any subject you will ever want to study (yes also macrame). So I said, just the intention is what they need, screen time can be a wonderful school.
4. Nutrition- Healthy food has always been important to me and in recent years even more so.
We never ate junk at home but in recent years we have started an even more careful diet. As usual, resistance from the children, why does everything have to be healthy? Others also eat disposable schnitzels (that's what we call frozen ready-made schnitzels).
Tiff, tiff, tiff, tiff, personal example, a little more small talk about the importance of nutrition and what we put into the body, some more spelled bread, buckwheat, quinoa and such, slowly and hopeless you do not understand what we will become, they have become much more extreme than me. Get up every morning to practice, not ready to touch the junk and get mad at me if I offer a disposable schnitzel (what do you want to kill us for?). Yes in the end it came against me.
5. Modeling- Our children look at us and constantly examine us from a very very young age. At first they adore us and then they object to everything we say (but as I have already written they do internalize so do not give up).
Let's make sure to be a good model because they will upgrade our model and be even better.
Every birthday we have a custom, we go to a restaurant and before the food arrives, the happy owner writes on a napkin the goals he is going to fulfill in the coming year (on a napkin because for the first time we did not bring paper and wrote on a napkin and since then the custom remains). Well what did you think? At first of course resistance until they agreed to write some two things and today, there is no place in the napkin anymore. We make sure to bring the napkin from last year and mark what we were able to accomplish, what not, move on to the next napkin or be deleted if not relevant.
Highly highly recommend you. These may be the simplest things and you will see how it develops. Get started on your own (modeling I already said) we all hang our napkins in a prominent place that always has our goals in front of our eyes. Start at a very young age and over the years you will see the napkins I make sure to keep it so adorable, a wonderful keepsake for development. Today my kids already have a huge vision board hanging for them on the wall in the room and they are renovating it all the time.
6. Also related to modeling but also together. When I started working in US real estate, I arranged a study so that I could, of course, work from home.
I was quiet and pleasant but it made me not see anyone. I came back from work, hello hello what did it sound like and went into the room to work. I realized that if I wanted to maintain my relationship and family it could not go on like this.
With the help of my lovely partner's creative idea we moved my desktop and computer to the living room. Yes to the middle of the house. I work from there while I dominate the whole house and share everything that happens. True, it is not always optimal, it is a bit disruptive to concentration but, togetherness is more important. And so all evening, everyone participates in my conversations, listens to zooms, gives advice, does real estate together.
It worked so well that my kids decided to become U.S. real estate entrepreneurs themselves.
At the age of 16 and a bit, they started studying real estate in depth, yes yes on the wonderful YouTube, where all the great mentors in the world are, everything is free and accessible. They watch crazy lectures on mindset and real estate, know all the inspirational phrases, listen to podcasts while exercising, understand excellent real estate (even know things I don't know yet), ask lots of questions and start their own business right now. Each one separately and exclusively. Unwilling to work with me decided they wanted to succeed on their own. I'm only there to support and answer questions.
They also decided that the school no longer serves their purposes and that most of the successful mentors in the world did not finish school at all. Their dad and I had a hard time with it but they gave us such a speech about the rat race and somehow it no longer serves anyone left speechless.
So they made an arrangement with the school that they are only studying individual subjects because what to do, compulsory education law until age 18.
You should have heard their conversation with the school principals, in a respectful and dignified manner but clear and confident in their goals. Mom, are these my kids? What will become of them. Some big ones just yesterday I dragged them in my belly the size of a big mountain.
Ah… Remember YouTube? They have crazy English, they hear all the lectures in English, they learned English at a level that even I with the not bad English at all mine do not always know all the words and concepts.
Good friends this was supposed to be a post summary, where I was also supposed to market myself and my projects but so many people approached me following the posts and asked how I manage to combine work and family and I had to write about it.
Although everything I wrote seems perfect, it still is not. The relationship with my kids is wonderful but there are times like this now for example that I am overwhelmed at work and I do not find time for family and they of course complain about me. I make sure but do not miss quality time with them. We arranged that every Friday I go out with another kid for a quality time where he chooses what to do and we have a great time together. warmly recommended.
I have difficulty with time planning so I can jump from talk to talk and do everything at once and feel like I am not doing anything enough. Working on that too. For those who have ideas / recommendations I would love to hear.
One last thing to finish, reminds you of the two sentences, sorry I'm digging but remember? Drips….
IT'S ALL ABOUT RELATIONSHIP
A very important sentence, relationships are everything. Remember this sentence every time someone annoys you or does not do what you want, the way you want, change your attitude, you do not understand at all how it will come back to you well in all areas, at home, at work, in real estate I have countless examples of this.
WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU ARE RIGHT
So tell me if everything you think is true, including what you can or cannot do, then what do you care about thinking well and thinking you can? It's free and it works. Check !!!!
Come on really love you guys, you guys have excited me all this week. Who I have not returned to I still apologize but promise to return to everyone.
Thank you to this great team and to the excellent real estate platform and to the interest in the opportunity.
Thanks to my partner and my lovely sons and also to my ex who believes in me and invests in me.
Thank you so much for continuing to read me despite the insanely long posts that have come out to me.
And thank you to the Creator of the world for all this immense abundance and beauty.
A wonderful weekend and a happy Orim holiday
Natalie
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